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A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"
"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"And then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"And then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
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Not funny. If anything, that made me more gloomy. >_>
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Erm, thats probally true....... LOL but its still funny
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it must suck to be a blonde, everyone always making fun of you...
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Ok Im sorry for making you more gloomy Clown 
Try these:





Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is both male and female."
This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses him so he asks, "Is God /*/ or straight?"
At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless, "Honey, God is both /*/ and straight."
At this Little Johnny’s face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"
Also:
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
"One penny!" exclaimed the guy.
The barman replied, "Yes."
So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-Bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?"
"Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money."
"How much money?" inquires the guy.
"4 cents", the bartender replies.
"Four cents!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the man who owns this place?"
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."
The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies, "Same thing I'm doing to his business."
There are pages and pages of these on my site, so i can keep em coming if u want :P
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