Essence

[Hitsugaya24]

just made this one with c4d and photoshop, heres the link
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/29264851/

[S-Gen.]

well the render itself doesn't look bad, but it does in this piece.

1 ) the brushing is flat, has no depth, not attractve
2 ) colors are too monotone, and contributes to the lack of depth
3 ) no lighting
4 ) the tech brushing needs to go
5 ) the render's material seems weak, prolly due to the lighting
6 ) rather than using downloaded abstract brushes, make your own
-----a ) no i am not trying to be a ho and bash people who use downloaded brushes
-----b ) i am simply saying that using your own produces 10x better results, and you feel better about your piece when you do it yourself
7 ) the typo is in a bad spot imo, i'd put it in the corner
8 ) needs a border
9 ) needs a better flow, this goes with #1 and #3
and i'll just round it off to 10
10 ) work on your overall composition, see #1 and #3 and also take into consideration better placement of the render, light, shadows, typo, and tech

don't hate me

[Hitsugaya24]

lol why would i hate u, ur like the first person to acually tell me what is reallyneeded, instead of saying "nice wallpaper, needs sum work though, its pretty cool"

[S-Gen.]

some people don't take kindly to criticism

[sythe]

well i agree with sui, especially with the brushing being flat and ugly.

[imported_Ghost]

The tech brushing in the bottem left corner is crap. (No offense of course.)

It doesn't go well with the rest of the wallie. But I think the other tech brushing is ok.

It needs more depth! A bit more abstract brushing+some stars would severly improve the overall look of it. The text would look better with a 2-4 pixel white outter glow set to a low opacity.

One question, what font is that? I like the way it looks...

[Hitsugaya24]

its scriptina on teh E and optimes precepts on the other letters