insanady

[half-life man]

Insanity
How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity!
At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Insist that your email address is: Xena_Warrior_Princess@companyname.com or Elvis_the_King@companyname.com
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophet Jimmy."
Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
Don't use any punctuation.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.
Send email to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in stall 3."
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!"
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."
Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!"

[Haven]

lol..I've read this before..I really am going to do this one day..

[Samuel]

Lol...thnaks for laugh mate!

[ROTD]

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

aww shit...thats not normal?!? -_-

[unit_number_43]

Here's one I took from a similar list and modified it to fit my needs.

I was at a friends family gathering and we decided to order sub sandwhiches, delivery. I begged to make the call, and said the following.

"Okay, now you're going to want to write this down... When the delivery gets to the door, he needs to knock...knock...don't ring the bell, and when asked who's there he must say 'James Brown'. It's a code we use, just in case."

"say what?"

"James Brown...Like the singer."

"James Brown, like the singer?"

"Right. Hey do you guys wrap your subs in anything?"

"Yeah, wax paper and tin foil."

"Oh sweet jesus. Can I keep the tin foil?"

"Umm...yeah."

"YES! ut the phone slightly farther away and yelled as if to another person: WE GET TO KEEP THE TIN FOIL!!! :got back on the phone: Sweet mother of god. Alright, now make sure you write down the instructions for the delivery guy, otherwise nobody will answer the door."

"Yeah, I got it."

:CLICK:

I was laughing my ass off. The best part is that somehow the delivery receipts got mixed up with someone elses order (I know this for a fact because although we got the right food, they had us listed down as ordering spaghetti and meatballs or something), So someone else got a special delivery from James Brown which makes it all the more funny.

When I worked at the office one of the girls in the vinyl department had been given an Orgasm key chain, which just replayed the sounds of some girl moaning. Late one day, about 20 minutes before we closed I hear this loud "ohhh...oowwwmmmmmm...oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh AHHHHHHHHH!!!!" over the intercom. I almost pissed myself laughing, mainly because the secretary was having a shit-fit.

I really want to try the "in accordance with the prophet Jimmy" one.