Heroes

[Takken]

Another one of my poems. Just in case your wondering I used to write these for a comp on another forum I hang out on called Lyrical Beast. it was quite popular back in the day but the greats left the forum and found a life

But yeah, I really like this poem admittedly and it was made in tribute to those who go to war to protect those important to them, though at that time I was being a bit naive and somewhat air-headed. Nonetheless thumbs up to those people. I wrote it with the intention of having a hip-hop air and pace to it, though throughout the piece the flow isn't all that good.

Heroes -

So many in a struggle
Dying for our freedom
We niggas don't give a thought
Though families wish to see'em

So many killed in battle
Changes begin to take place
My feelings out of order
Shit they're misplaced

I think I'm a hero
Though I wait here and hide
Secretly wishing to join 'em
on the field and to painlessly die

True soldiers their shells show
Lovers their hearts portrayed
Some of them phonies
F*ck! They end up being betrayed!

But this is war, Life is for grabs
You gotta be tough to survive
Think of your family,
don't wanna make them sad

To die in battle is indeed honourable
To die a human inevitable
Though you might make
Your loved ones sad...

To die a hero,
Makes you irreplaceable.

[Slave]

I liked this rythm much more than the first one I read. It is very well made and got me thinking, and imo that is what a poem is about, making one think about a situation from a different stand point than your own.

[cC.DOMINO™]

great job here, near the end it gets a bit too fancy wording but it still flows nicely. I can almost hear a beat in my head when reading it I tried to rap it and see how it sounded.

[Takken]

Thanks mates!