Wet Grave: By Slave

[Slave]

I also kinda a made a back story/poem for this one. It's not really a poem, just some broken words from the dead.

He took me, kept me, carried me away
I was sad, scared,hurt and betrayed
No love is here, only dark...
No love is here only the wet cold things to keep me company...
Won't someone find me ?
I am lost and no one can find me
My grave is cold, dark and lonely
I wish to be found, I miss my mother,
There is no peace for me here...
I can not rest until I see her just one last time...
Please....



Okay this is as far as I could go with this, in case I can't fix it up before the due date of a contest this is going into.

If I have more time before the due date on monday I will fix it up.
This is my first contest on DA so I really wanted to try my best with what little time I knew about it and tried out for it.

Anyone got any ideas or tricks they think I can slip in before monday ?
Any help would be taken into consideration ^^<3

[Fur]

I like the idea, but IMO it needs a little more work to it. First off, to me the lighting on the girl and the surrounding area is way off. She is really creepy dark; while, the area around it is dark, but not as dark. I think it would give it a better over all effect if you had the background darker. It would add more drama and it would also make the artwork look colder;which, I would assume is what you are going for. Another thing I noticed was the "ice" on the feet. IMO I would erase it there. The feet part seems a little off. The effects on the feet just look odd and, personally, I do not like them. Also, one thing to me seems off is the girl. I think how she is positioned on the bridge markers her look bigger than she is because to me she seems a little too big compared to everything else and she is just a little girl. Also, I think this would look pretty cool. Maybe add like almost a snow look effect to the girl and just like around her. By snow look I just mean add snow. Another small thing is, fix the left chain to the swing. It is way too transparent. I can hardly see it. I do like this, but IMO it seems a little unfinished.

[Slave]

Thanks for the feedback fur, you are right, it is unfinished, but I wanted to hand it in before the due date so I am pressured for time.

I really love the snow idea, and I think that might very well be the touch I was missing, I wantedto add rain for more effect but when I did that I felt it was too messy.

Yes I also felt she was a bit on the larger side, but she isn't so much a little girl as like a teen. I also felt that the area was dominating too much of the picture for my liking when I had her smaller.
I also agree with you that the surrounding area is much lighter, I tried going darker but I felt like it made it look like I was hiding soemthing, when in fact that was the exact ops. Once the snow is in, perhaps that will help me illuminate more but darken up the rest kinda thing

I made the left chain look more transparent because I tried to add more of a shine to it, maybe I'll take that out or work harder on it >.< we will see.

Top priority now will be the snow and darkening the area more
Without the blue on her feet you can hardly see the effect, same goes for both sides of her legs, I have this tearing/leaking affect to it but you can't see if at all because the b/g and it's coloue of her
I'll make a v2 without the blue on feet when i fix up the snow and see what everyone thinks.
Thanks fur^^<3

[Fur]

Hope I helped you out and hope you do good in your comp!