MY PEOM

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08-11-2005, 09:50 AM
Crazyash_77

the phones keep ringing
my time is ticking
a simple ryhme to pass my time

i just pounder
stayin here lettin my mind wonder
on the simple things

sometimes i think is amazing
then i think im just dazzin
on the fact i have u
i dunno how this can be soo true

the time an thought i put into it
the thought we got it
i have you an you have me
i dunno how this is to be

you promise me the goods
an all my dreams
an i promise u all i got ima do
just for you
cause i love you
i do

just a simple ryhme
to pass the time
thinkin of you always
can't get u out of my mind
thinkin bout u all the time

i love you
<3 Ashley

tell me whatcha think... i am high an was bored an i haven't been on so i thought i would try an keep up AIGHT LOVE YA'Z
08-11-2005, 11:00 AM
Runch

"i just pounder"

did you mean ponder?

Pon·der

To weigh in the mind with thoroughness and care.

other than that i think is quite good. im not a very goof judge so i will leave it at that. Good work
08-11-2005, 11:36 AM
Runch

It was just annoying me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The phones keep ringing.
My time is ticking.
A simple rhyme to pass my time.

I just ponder.
Staying here letting my mind wonder.
On the simple things.

Sometimes I think is amazing.
Then I think I'm just dazing.
On the fact I have u.
I don’t know how this can be so true.

The time and thought I put into it.
The thought we got it.
I have you an you have me.
I don’t know how this is to be.

You promise me the goods.
And all my dreams.
And I promise u all I got ima do.
Just for you.
Cause I love you .
I do.

Just a simple rhyme.
To pass the time.
Thinking of you always.
Can’t get u out of my mind.
Thinking bout u all the time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

The only line I had a problem with is "And I promise u all I got ima do."

what does "ima do" mean?

Other then sounding cool (just say it IMA DO) anyway. I dont really know what it means in that line.
08-11-2005, 05:13 PM
Krimsyn

Quote:

Originally posted by Runch@6 Hours Ago
"i just pounder"
did you mean ponder?

Pon·der* *

To weigh in the mind with thoroughness and care.

other than that i think is quite good. im not a very goof judge so i will leave it at that. Good work

[snapback]94318[/snapback]

i like it ashley very well done :)
the rhyming is well done and i like the message behind it.