I close my eyes and I see my baby's eyes.
Big and round.
A beautiful dark brown.
They are his fathers eyes.
But, they still shine with the innocence that his father lost long ago.
A little of that innocence is stolen with each fight.
Each night.
Until he too bares the emotional scars of our drama.
The Baby Mama Baby Daddy drama.
So cliche, but all too real.
Hateful words spew from our mouths cuz we're still too immature to deal
with our feelings.
Our emotions are too raw to be controlled.
Cards are stacked against us.
But we have too much pride to fold.
Or maybe we're just bluffing.
Pretending to be loving.
Scared that my son will only see his father once a year on Christmas or something.
08-17-2005, 01:41 PM
Runch
This is a good one Kitty.
08-18-2005, 06:24 PM
RAHTING
very good indeed just one thing and thats the last word of the whole poem, it just doesnt fit :P well done though very nice :)
08-19-2005, 04:39 AM
Runch
you are saying "something" doesnt fit? how so? explain? it fits when i read it!
08-19-2005, 06:47 AM
RAHTING
the last line
"Scared that my son will only see his father once a year on Christmas or something."
i dont think it should say "or something." i know it kinda rhymes with loving but it just doesnt sound right... it kinda gives the impression that platinumkittykat put it in because she didnt know what else would fit.
remember its just my own opinion :D
08-19-2005, 07:16 AM
Runch
platinum doesnt always try to rhyme......the puts in how she feels.. she isnt scared her babys daddy is only gonna see him on christmas....but christmas or somting..........(easter, thanksgiving, his birthday) it seems to me that it fits in fine......i think its perfect........but every1 has their own opinion.
09-22-2005, 01:42 PM
PlatinumKittyKat
wow i cant believe i never saw this... thanx runch, u took care of it for me LoL. the last line has alot of signifigance in the poem.... and by saying 'something' i did indeed mean other holidays, birthdays... you know only a few times a year.