EDIT: kk switchd last 2 lines.thx for you suggestions and comments peoples...i will try to post more.
09-16-2005, 12:34 PM
*Peng*
i like it Runch ..GJ :)
09-16-2005, 02:42 PM
Unforgotten
Yeah, i like really like it runch. The only thing i'd say is that it would end much better if you use that 2nd to last line "My life is done…it is complete" as the last line. IMO, ending with the word complete would be much better.
But then again, i'm no poet :P
09-16-2005, 02:59 PM
PlatinumKittyKat
I think its really good too.. but I agree with unforgotten..the last two lines should be switched. =) Keep writing Runch.. we need to keep this section alive!!! LoL
09-16-2005, 03:15 PM
Samuel
Good work man. Definatley switch those last two up. Good shit!
09-16-2005, 03:36 PM
ilovecoheed
Great work man!
yeah there are a few of us keeping this section alive, i'll post more poems later, i gotta get ready for marching band soon...