Essence

just made this one with c4d and photoshop, heres the link
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/29264851/

well the render itself doesn't look bad, but it does in this piece.

1 ) the brushing is flat, has no depth, not attractve
2 ) colors are too monotone, and contributes to the lack of depth
3 ) no lighting
4 ) the tech brushing needs to go
5 ) the render's material seems weak, prolly due to the lighting
6 ) rather than using downloaded abstract brushes, make your own
-----a ) no i am not trying to be a ho and bash people who use downloaded brushes
-----b ) i am simply saying that using your own produces 10x better results, and you feel better about your piece when you do it yourself
7 ) the typo is in a bad spot imo, i'd put it in the corner
8 ) needs a border
9 ) needs a better flow, this goes with #1 and #3
and i'll just round it off to 10
10 ) work on your overall composition, see #1 and #3 and also take into consideration better placement of the render, light, shadows, typo, and tech

don't hate me

lol why would i hate u, ur like the first person to acually tell me what is reallyneeded, instead of saying "nice wallpaper, needs sum work though, its pretty cool"

some people don't take kindly to criticism

well i agree with sui, especially with the brushing being flat and ugly.

The tech brushing in the bottem left corner is crap. (No offense of course.)

It doesn't go well with the rest of the wallie. But I think the other tech brushing is ok.

It needs more depth! A bit more abstract brushing+some stars would severly improve the overall look of it. The text would look better with a 2-4 pixel white outter glow set to a low opacity.

One question, what font is that? I like the way it looks...

its scriptina on teh E and optimes precepts on the other letters