True Love

One of my most earlier works. To me its just crap but while reading it over I had to lol. I was heavily inspired by Eminem and his style so I tried to imitate it a bit but I think I may have tried too hard xD Hope some of you will find some humour in it XD I'll try to post better ones from time to time.

Oh and nice job getting this forum.:)


True Love -

Lately you've been hard to reach
But ignoring me was the wrong thing to do
I felt my heart was split in two
Felt like there wasn't anything I wouldn't do

I really wish you could've wait
Instead you couldn't
Waited til I left to go to school
Open that door to that damn rich faggot
Let him touch you all over
Even tell him the secret 'spot'

You did it for nine months
And nine months I tried
Our relationship was broken
But that I tried to deny
Beauty comes first
Body comes second
Really couldn't concept
Til you start messin'
with my mind
with my head
Had me wishing you were dead
So hard I tried to rid these feelings
But no, they just had me reeling
On my knees, on the floor
to you.


Til that night you made a mistake
Fatal in its own way
I went to through the door
To go the market
YTou smiled and waved
My keys dropped, I bent over
Door wasn't close, what I saw
Made me get angrier
That rich faggot was there
Touching my spot
Hell no! No one touches that spot
Unless you're me, which you're not
Got my knife. Made you scream
Hall filled with terror, my eyes gleamed
with savage elation at your face
The rich faggot tried to run away
Hell no! He was already in my pace
I slit his throat and I was about to finish you
But then I realized my love for you
Would always be true. Always. Be. True.

**** this world. **** this faggot. **** you. I really want to
Stripped her clothes and **** her raw.
Made her fap me. I was like a fronzen paw-paw
Gave me heads but I wanted more.
Told her to go to the store
She went to pick up her clothes but I said no
This is the humiliation for cheating on me 'Ho.
Never mess with the big *****.

love this part

**** this world. **** this faggot. **** you. I really want to
Stripped her clothes and **** her raw.
Made her fap me. I was like a fronzen paw-paw
Gave me heads but I wanted more.
Told her to go to the store
She went to pick up her clothes but I said no
This is the humiliation for cheating on me 'Ho.
Never mess with the big *****.

LOL Takken xD WOW, gatta say twisted. Kinda got an eminem style/feel to this poem. I like it, it's got a few rusty spots, but nothing a few tweaks of rephrasing or dropping a word or too wouldn't do.

KIU brah ^^

p.s I woulda killed her ^^

ha, nice job here, agree with slave feels very eminem like even in the setup of how it flows. The wording is abbrasive and borderline offensive so it held my attention till the last word. Good work Takken.

"Oh and nice job getting this forum.:)"

thx.

Haha thanks guys.

Ick, what a mean song >.<

That's the rap stuff, not poetry :/

Lololol.

Yeah, it was meant to be demeaning to an extent. XD

Hmmm... I guess we would have our different interpretations. What do you think is rap, and what do you think is poetry LF?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Takken

Lololol.

Yeah, it was meant to be demeaning to an extent. XD

Hmmm... I guess we would have our different interpretations. What do you think is rap, and what do you think is poetry LF?

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Well, poetry is nice, and rap is mean. >.<

But rap is not poetry to me because it relies on the music more than the words, and poetry is all about the words. If you tried to sell a "rap poetry book" with the lyrics of like the 20 most popular rap songs, no one would buy it. Because the lyrics are actually really quite bad and unpoetical, but they sound good alongside the music. Poetry sounds nice on it's own, poetry is all about the words and the images they create. You shouldn't need to sing it, or back it up with a beat, or change the ending on certain words in order to create poetry. =D

I dunno, I don't listen to rap, sometimes it comes on the radio. It's just blah and silly words. I was thinking of writing a rap song about unicorns but I think that's a bad idea.

Poetry is rap, or thats what it started out to be and still shares some tech to it. BTW little known fact, rap was started by a white dude in the 70's :P Can't remeber his name now but we studied him in English Grd 9 poetry semester ^^

Poetry is an art to create an image, your painting a scenario with words. Not all poetry is pleasant or rhythmic, a lot of poetry has absolutely no rhythm to it what so ever but is still poetic in it's own right. Edgar Allen Poe is a good example of dark poetry. It all depends on what type of visual you want to paint with your poetry that decides what type of poetry you write. Rather it's about sunsets, or the summers breeze, or adultery or murder.