Wet Grave: By Slave

I also kinda a made a back story/poem for this one. It's not really a poem, just some broken words from the dead.

He took me, kept me, carried me away
I was sad, scared,hurt and betrayed
No love is here, only dark...
No love is here only the wet cold things to keep me company...
Won't someone find me ?
I am lost and no one can find me
My grave is cold, dark and lonely
I wish to be found, I miss my mother,
There is no peace for me here...
I can not rest until I see her just one last time...
Please....

http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/7866/wetgrave2.png

Okay this is as far as I could go with this, in case I can't fix it up before the due date of a contest this is going into.

If I have more time before the due date on monday I will fix it up.
This is my first contest on DA so I really wanted to try my best with what little time I knew about it and tried out for it.

Anyone got any ideas or tricks they think I can slip in before monday ?:D
Any help would be taken into consideration ^^<3

I like the idea, but IMO it needs a little more work to it. First off, to me the lighting on the girl and the surrounding area is way off. She is really creepy dark; while, the area around it is dark, but not as dark. I think it would give it a better over all effect if you had the background darker. It would add more drama and it would also make the artwork look colder;which, I would assume is what you are going for. Another thing I noticed was the "ice" on the feet. IMO I would erase it there. The feet part seems a little off. The effects on the feet just look odd and, personally, I do not like them. Also, one thing to me seems off is the girl. I think how she is positioned on the bridge markers her look bigger than she is because to me she seems a little too big compared to everything else and she is just a little girl. Also, I think this would look pretty cool. Maybe add like almost a snow look effect to the girl and just like around her. By snow look I just mean add snow. Another small thing is, fix the left chain to the swing. It is way too transparent. I can hardly see it. I do like this, but IMO it seems a little unfinished.

Thanks for the feedback fur, you are right, it is unfinished, but I wanted to hand it in before the due date so I am pressured for time.

I really love the snow idea, and I think that might very well be the touch I was missing, I wantedto add rain for more effect but when I did that I felt it was too messy.

Yes I also felt she was a bit on the larger side, but she isn't so much a little girl as like a teen. I also felt that the area was dominating too much of the picture for my liking when I had her smaller.
I also agree with you that the surrounding area is much lighter, I tried going darker but I felt like it made it look like I was hiding soemthing, when in fact that was the exact ops. Once the snow is in, perhaps that will help me illuminate more but darken up the rest kinda thing :D

I made the left chain look more transparent because I tried to add more of a shine to it, maybe I'll take that out or work harder on it >.< we will see.

Top priority now will be the snow and darkening the area more :D
Without the blue on her feet you can hardly see the effect, same goes for both sides of her legs, I have this tearing/leaking affect to it but you can't see if at all because the b/g and it's coloue of her :(
I'll make a v2 without the blue on feet when i fix up the snow and see what everyone thinks.
Thanks fur^^<3

Hope I helped you out and hope you do good in your comp!