College Personal Statement

Prompt

Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations





Mesmerized by the puissant aroma elicited by the gradual withering of the incense candles, I blankly stared at the altar, dazed by the doleful news that my father is diagnosed with cancer. A virgin of calamity, the essence of losing a loved one eradicated everything I once conceived and consumed my adolescent mind, replacing it with anguish and dejection. My father was a man that strived off of his indomitable spirit, his imposing presence, and his tranquil demeanor that was combined with his boisterous opinions. Being presented with the conviction that my father's time is soon to come created an expansive void only to be filled with sinister affliction.

Before my acknowledgment of my father's diesase I believed that incense candles represented an implore for false hope; an apparatus for those who relinquish the ability to manipulate their condition. Prompted by my family, I was forced to become a hypocrite of my beliefs by habitually praying to an altar with these artificial candles, that represented nothing more to me than a speck of dust coursing through a gargantuan desert.

Every morning, I was coerced to reconcile with the fact that I had to partake in praying to an abstraction that I didn't believe in. However, my father's depleted condition started to unfold an onslaught of distraught that slowly masqueraded itself into my once content family, and my personal ambition became just an extraneous scrap of life. The tangability of hope became as uncertain as the cure for cancer itself with ever accumulating dispute that derived from fruitless objections,stress, and hysteria. Ironically, the absence of hope channeled all my indignation towards the one object that represented hope- the incense candles.

The gloomy morning of July 13th, proved to be the toughest moment of this whole experience. As I engaged in the habitual ritual that bleak morning, I lifelessly gawked the altar. It seemed as if the candles taunted me with a penetrating vigor that made me blind with acrimony. I resented the candles for its significance, for its existence, and for the enigma blanketed in its presence. Engorged with rage, I bombarded the wall with a barrage of unlit candles, hoping to fullfill my hunger for vengence towards fate- an arbritary whirlwind that manifest itself as a complication. As I slowly amassed the candles, I found myself adhere in a crossroads between hope and apprehension. At that moment an influx of impure thoughts ran rancid through my mind, as I became bewildered with an unexplainable melancholy. Through the whole flurry, the one thing that persisted were the auroral candles.

As the days elapsed, the existence of the candles haunted me; I had a compulsion to obtain the obscure meaning behind the candles. The blazing light captivated my eyes with a distinctive conviction equal to that only of an adolescent child elated by the arrival of his father. The erect posture exhibited its placid yet dominant authority. The drooping decline of the candle evoked the blight of humanity- a tribulation layered with minute optimism. The peculiar aroma represented the plethora of complications that is endured through a lifetime; a variant dilemma for each individual.

Six months elapse and father is still battling cancer. With his improving condition, I found myself pondering about my future. As the days passed, I found myself more optimistic and hopeful. The candles evoked an ephiphany type change in my well-being. I no longer lingered on despair, but fueled my ambition with the hope gained from my experience with the candles. They were more than candles, they were pillars of life that brought a presence of hope. I want to utilize this experience as my fuel to conquer the future dilemmas that emerge. With a more positive outlook, i grasp every microscopic chance presented and perservere to suceed. Holding my fathers hand through his cancer, both spirtually and phyiscally, emphasized the need to counter the unknown rather than let the sea rage suffocate me. The impending fear of not getting accepted into college no longer scares me, but rather motivates me.


Ending is very unfinished. I got tired of writing and its only a rough draft. There are some obvious grammatical mistakes because I haven't read over it yet. Would love some help!