i definetly enjoyed this poem, its a very familiar feeling and the right amount of imagery. i dont like to give any criticism but this is constructive: you have great ryhme but the lines dont have a rythm; there is no beat. i can explain a little more if you dont understand.
08-10-2005, 03:43 AM
PlatinumKittyKat
I know this poem is really melloncholy... i was pretty depressed when i wrote it.. it just is what it is ya know? its a very somber poem... i think my heart was broken when i wrote it... that would explain the lack of rhythm.
08-10-2005, 08:46 PM
Xtremerunnerars
eek...i read my post before i edited it...that was the day i stayed up a really long time...so i apologize for the spelling errors i edited. And seems like my situation was close to yours illegal..cept it was 5 weeks, and i thought a break was best for the both of us...i also think i might have a deeper history with my girlfriend, but who knows.
08-13-2005, 02:18 AM
Krimsyn
one of my favs :) as being someone in this situation
08-15-2005, 02:47 AM
Deadloader
my favourite from you platinum, it seems a lot of us here feel the same about it and it means something to me, thank you :)