its a cool idea i guess, yea personally i think you should take out the lol's and fix the top part doesnt go wit anything else on there. and if shes in a grade higher then you, that dont mean anything just means you will have to show her that your more mature then what your age is or your grade. i think shed love it if u fixed it more girls love when guys spend time on them or stuff for them, just dont crowd her wit stuff and dont be like breathing down her neck give her some space after you give her that note and let her reply to it then play it from there