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Watching stars without you,
The sky looks sad tonight,
Or maybe its just me,
longing for you to hold me tight.
tears run down my face,
As one star twinkles bright,
I make a wish for you and I,
And hope everything turns out right.
I feel your arms around me,
You say you want to hold me til daylight,
I know it's just in my mind,
So I watch the stars without you, as I do every night.
wow. I love this poem! It conveys feelings of love and sorrow, and i can so relate. Good job platinum.
I think this is one of my favs i have heard on gfx void
I wrote this for my b/f when we were living in different states...its my favorite poem ive ever written i think... im so glad u can relate to it and im honored that its one of your favorites =)
Perfect way to put it ilovecoheedQuote:
Originally posted by ilovecoheed@15 Hours Ago
wow. I love this poem! It conveys feelings of love and sorrow, and i can so relate. Good job platinum.
I think this is one of my favs i have heard on gfx void
[snapback]91852[/snapback]
Great job Platinumkittykat!
I'm not one for poetry...and i just went through a confusing breakup...and i miss the days when i used to hold her....:-(
very good job on this...i can really relate, except i'm not a girl..but still, i really like this...im going to bookmark this.
aww omg thank you guys... im so happy you all like it =)
i think i may write one more poem before i hit the hay, but once again good job.
Great job. I really like this, I can relate, seeing as I just broke up with my girlfriend who i was with for a couple months, but didn't see her for 3 weeks. Maybe i'll show this to her, she broke up with me because i didnt see her for 3 fucking weeks. =\ Oh well. . .
That's pretty weak. Was it even your fault you couldn't see her?Quote:
Originally posted by Illegalx17@9 Minutes Ago
Great job.* I really like this, I can relate, seeing as I just broke up with my girlfriend who i was with for a couple months, but didn't see her for 3 weeks.* Maybe i'll show this to her, she broke up with me because i didnt see her for 3 fucking weeks.* =\ Oh well. . .
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No! It was her fault if anything!!!
i definetly enjoyed this poem, its a very familiar feeling and the right amount of imagery. i dont like to give any criticism but this is constructive: you have great ryhme but the lines dont have a rythm; there is no beat. i can explain a little more if you dont understand.
I know this poem is really melloncholy... i was pretty depressed when i wrote it.. it just is what it is ya know? its a very somber poem... i think my heart was broken when i wrote it... that would explain the lack of rhythm.
eek...i read my post before i edited it...that was the day i stayed up a really long time...so i apologize for the spelling errors i edited. And seems like my situation was close to yours illegal..cept it was 5 weeks, and i thought a break was best for the both of us...i also think i might have a deeper history with my girlfriend, but who knows.
one of my favs :) as being someone in this situation
my favourite from you platinum, it seems a lot of us here feel the same about it and it means something to me, thank you :)
again.. thank you all. =)
