And that's how the fight started...

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a Cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.

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My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"

I replied "Dust"

And that's how the fight started.

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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.. I really need you to pay me a compliment..

'The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started.

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0
to 200 in about 3 seconds.

I bought her a scale..

And that's how the fight started.

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I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's how the fight started

--------------------- ------------------------------

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14..95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's how the fight started

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's how the fight started!!

LOL funny stuff dude

HAHA! I really laughed at the Millionaire one. That's just epic.

LOL
Those were funny...

Ha!
Some of those are GREAT!

LOL

I lol'd at almost all of them. I don't really get the TV one though...

I mean I get it, but its not incredibly funny.

Last one was the beast of jokes.

lmao!
DM you should post up the one about ur wife asking u for a joke.

Quote:

Originally Posted by publikenemy187

LOL

I lol'd at almost all of them. I don't really get the TV one though...

I mean I get it, but its not incredibly funny.

There's dust on top of the TV.

Last one is epic x)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Papa

lmao!
DM you should post up the one about ur wife asking u for a joke.

Hmm..ya. Almost cost me a fucking shiner that one.

Anyways, for those who never heard it, she asked me to email her some jokes, so I sent her a picture of herself.

It didn't go over so well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dungus

There's dust on top of the TV.

Last one is epic x)

Dust is also a movie.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0243232/