Choose Your Own Adventure!

[Relentless]

I will assume everyone knows how these work, so here it goes...

You are a fat 40 year-old living in your mom's basement. So, today you decide to go out for a walk.

Walk, walk, walk, walk. You stop at the park. Looking around, you find an amazingly hot woman jogging. What do you do?

(A) Walk, walk, walk, walk back home
(B) Say "Y halo thar! Buttsecks?" to the woman
(C) Moonwalk.

[Samuel]

(c) Do the Moonwalk.

After you do the moon walk, the woman asks;

WTF are you doing? Do you want to;

(A) goto to my house for coffee?
(B) jog with me?
(C) invite me to your house? AND have sex, but get caught by your mom in her basement.

[Magic]

(B) jog with me

After jogging 2 minutes you cant breathe, need a break, and fall to the ground pretending you need CPR

Do you:
(A) lay there while she laughs uncontrollably
(B) get a boner as soon as she presses her lips against urs
(C) get up and run home to your mommy as she laughs at u for being so fat and lazy

[Elder-Bunny]

(c) as soon as you start running a hobo blocks your path and you run into him

you
(a) Beat his ass for not watching out
(b) say sorry
(c) Start crying because you scraped your knee

[Dale]

(b) Say sorry, walk past him, then beat the fools ass.

You get home to a catastrophe, your mum has been shopping, and you don't know what to put in your sandwich!!!

(a)You fill it with cooked meat, and salad
(b)You eat the whole motherfucking fridge!
(c)You're a goodboy, you don't eat sandwiches because daddy said they're evil.

[Elder-Bunny]

(b)

You cry because of the fact you're a fat ass that could eat a fridge then cry some more because you have no ice cream to go with your tears.
Then you...

(a) Cry more
(b) go insane and kill your parents
(c) Suck it up.

[Virtue]

(c) suck it up because you're still hungry. You then realize that you need more adventure in your life. You decide to go to:

(a) the disco
(b) the supermarket
(c) prison

[snap]

(c) Prison to see your 19 year old son who has been put in jail for public exposure. Shortly after you...

(a) cringe because he begins flashing the warden
(b) set off the alarm in a feeble attempt to help him escape
(c) deposit your gift of biscuits and cigarettes, and proceed to the mall

[ilovecoheed]

(c) deposit your gift of biscuits and cigarettes, and proceed to the mall

As you enter the mall, you see a man advertising smoked weiners, you decide to...

(a) kick him in the nads
(b) take all of his samples
(c) molest him


(if you chose c, you're officially a sick bastard lawl )

[ROTD]

(b) You stuff a few in your mouth an run off. shortly after you suddenly...

(a) begin to choke on the weiners
(b) look over your shoulder and see the weiner man with a shotgun.
(c) runs into the little boy's room to let out the dogs.