A father, passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished
to see the bed was nicely made and everything was
picked up. Then he noticed an envelope propped up
prominently on the center of the bed. It was
addressed to "Dad". With the worst possible
premonition he opened the envelope and read the letter
from his son with trembling hands.
DEAR DAD:
IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING
THIS I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I
WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU.
I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS
SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER
TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES. BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE
PASSION DAD, SHE'S PREGNANT AND
BARBARA SAID THAT WE
WILL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.
EVEN THOUGH YOU WON'T CARE FOR HER, AS SHE IS MUCH
OLDER THAN I, SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS
AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD FOR THE WHOLE WINTER. SHE
WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S
NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO.
BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT
ANYONE AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND
TRADING IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE AND
ECSTASY WE WANT. IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT
SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO BARBARA CAN GET
BETTER; SHE SURE DESERVES IT!!
DON'T WORRY DAD; I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW
TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE
BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR
GRANDCHILDREN.
YOUR SON, JOHN
P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT THE
NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE. I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT
THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE
THAN MY REPORT CARD
THAT'S IN MY DESK, CENTER DRAWER. I LOVE YOU!
CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME.[/b]
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