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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Vancouver
    Posts
    4,948

    Default And that's how the fight started...

    One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a Cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
    And that's how the fight started.

    -------------------------------------------

    My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"

    I replied "Dust"

    And that's how the fight started.

    -------------------------------------------

    A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.. I really need you to pay me a compliment..

    'The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

    And that's how the fight started.

    -------------------------------------------

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0
    to 200 in about 3 seconds.

    I bought her a scale..

    And that's how the fight started.

    -------------------------------------------

    I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

    It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

    So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

    And that's how the fight started.

    -------------------------------------------

    My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

    'No,' she answered.

    I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

    She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

    So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

    And that's how the fight started

    --------------------- ------------------------------



    I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14..95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

    And that's how the fight started

    ---------------------------------------------------

    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

    He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

    'Nah, she can order for herself.'

    And that's how the fight started!!







    Thanks.
    Prick.


  2. #2
    Fuzer is offline ◦○║►теαм ђаzέ™◄║○◦
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Aylesbury, England.
    Posts
    746

    Default

    LOL funny stuff dude

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Portsmouth
    Posts
    2,970

    Default

    HAHA! I really laughed at the Millionaire one. That's just epic.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    14

    Default

    LOL
    Those were funny...
    .:Newest:.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Vancity, Canada
    Posts
    2,985

    Default

    Ha!
    Some of those are GREAT!
    Quote Originally Posted by MarkPancake View Post
    MarkPancake banned.
    Success.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    56

    Default

    LOL

    I lol'd at almost all of them. I don't really get the TV one though...

    I mean I get it, but its not incredibly funny.
    Current:


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    England
    Posts
    65

    Default

    Last one was the beast of jokes.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    5,091

    Default

    lmao!
    DM you should post up the one about ur wife asking u for a joke.


    My DevART
    RATCHET is my bitch
    Andrew says:
    u ever stolen a bible?
    Apathy says:
    no
    used the last two pages to roll a joint though
    Andrew says:
    wow
    thats fucking hard core
    ^^HAHAHA, dm sucks XD


  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Belgium, Ghent
    Posts
    49

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by publikenemy187 View Post
    LOL

    I lol'd at almost all of them. I don't really get the TV one though...

    I mean I get it, but its not incredibly funny.
    There's dust on top of the TV.

    Last one is epic x)






  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Vancouver
    Posts
    4,948

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Papa View Post
    lmao!
    DM you should post up the one about ur wife asking u for a joke.
    Hmm..ya. Almost cost me a fucking shiner that one.

    Anyways, for those who never heard it, she asked me to email her some jokes, so I sent her a picture of herself.

    It didn't go over so well.




    Thanks.
    Prick.


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