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Thread: Heroes

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Que?
    Posts
    2,460

    Default Heroes

    Another one of my poems. Just in case your wondering I used to write these for a comp on another forum I hang out on called Lyrical Beast. it was quite popular back in the day but the greats left the forum and found a life

    But yeah, I really like this poem admittedly and it was made in tribute to those who go to war to protect those important to them, though at that time I was being a bit naive and somewhat air-headed. Nonetheless thumbs up to those people. I wrote it with the intention of having a hip-hop air and pace to it, though throughout the piece the flow isn't all that good.

    Heroes -

    So many in a struggle
    Dying for our freedom
    We niggas don't give a thought
    Though families wish to see'em

    So many killed in battle
    Changes begin to take place
    My feelings out of order
    Shit they're misplaced

    I think I'm a hero
    Though I wait here and hide
    Secretly wishing to join 'em
    on the field and to painlessly die

    True soldiers their shells show
    Lovers their hearts portrayed
    Some of them phonies
    F*ck! They end up being betrayed!

    But this is war, Life is for grabs
    You gotta be tough to survive
    Think of your family,
    don't wanna make them sad

    To die in battle is indeed honourable
    To die a human inevitable
    Though you might make
    Your loved ones sad...

    To die a hero,
    Makes you irreplaceable.

    Quote Originally Posted by Slave
    takken, you sweet boy you, i could eat you 6^

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    3,286

    Default

    I liked this rythm much more than the first one I read. It is very well made and got me thinking, and imo that is what a poem is about, making one think about a situation from a different stand point than your own.

    Radi's one of a kind gift <3

    ^My Wish List^




  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    2,831

    Default

    great job here, near the end it gets a bit too fancy wording but it still flows nicely. I can almost hear a beat in my head when reading it I tried to rap it and see how it sounded.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Que?
    Posts
    2,460

    Default

    Thanks mates!

    Quote Originally Posted by Slave
    takken, you sweet boy you, i could eat you 6^

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