A Flirt (1 of 2)

[Takken]

Just some practice for the Poetry Slam. Tell me what you think.

Laughter, it exists in this space.
Bright are your eyes
They light up the place
Baby, don't be shy
And get caught in my pace

The swagger of my tongue
The curl of your cheek
Pursin' of my lips
The showing of your teeth

The look on your face
Makes it easy to tell
We may be getting somewhere
Our time should be swell

The form of my mouth
It begins to change
Inclination of heads
Proves a slighte drange

We keep getting closer
Then take a short breath
The meeting of our skin
Show feelings of great depth

It was meant to have a sort of rapping beat to it (made it at work because I was bored)

Your thoughts?

[cC.DOMINO™]

not bad long winded dishwasher lol nice name btw. The second part

The swagger of my tongue
The curl of your cheek
Pursin' of my lips
The showing of your teeth

This part doesn't sound like it flows good. cheek and teeth don't rhyme. lol

[Takken]

Its that tard Pete's idea.

I know what you mean. I was pretty stuck at that stage for like an half hour so I just put something there hopin' it would work out. Been trying to be more conscious of my vocabulary and think of more words.

Thanks man.