Keeping Women Happy

[smel]

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men: Make the
woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something
she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for
doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)

In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-10)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy (-2)

Named Tina (-4)

Tina is a dancer (-6)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)


HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colours of your favourite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)


ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) Any other
response (-20)


COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned _expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)


Any comments??

[Runch]

STUPID

[robgasm]

Originally posted by smel@10 Hours Ago
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy (-2)

Named Tina (-4)

Tina is a dancer (-6)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)

[snapback]77622[/snapback]

thats the only really good bit

[PenguinElitist]

Yeah, it was ok for a few chuckles. I wanna meet this Tina though...

[Xtremerunnerars]

I hope you're female...

[tacoX]

Kinda... entertaining... I guess lol.

[Tenchido]

Did you write this yourself?

[liz]

hahaha i love it

[robgasm]

LIZ!

where ya bin?

[liz]

Originally posted by deep blue@2 Days Ago
LIZ!

where ya bin?

[snapback]80847[/snapback]

aww! i didnt think anyone noticed ive been gone hehe.

Sorry i havent been around much, ive been a bit busy with my bf moving in, dont have much time to come online anymore, its been a bit hard to catch up around here as everytime i come on there's 60 pages of new posts but im gradually makin my way through them lol

how u all been anyway? hope u havent took it too hard ive been gone will be on a bit more though, i miss this place!