I was walking down the street in my suburban neighbourhood when a dog came up to me and asked if I had a dollar he could borrow so he could buy a slurpee cause it was a very cold November day in Canada.

So I was like, "Wow you look like you need it!" so I flicked a loonie at him and he was like "WTF" and started chasing me down the alley. I wasn't looking where I was running so I smacked my face against Trajan's Column and got the scene which shows the Sarmatians from the Roxolani tribe fleeing the Roman onslaught printed into my face because of the pressure.

The dog was like, "That is dandy I must say ol' lad, you have a piece of history on your face!" and started to break dance and then a number of people started to gather around and break dance around him, some dude was like, "Sweet motorola MP3 Phones~!"

So everyone was gathering around this break-dancing group when a bunch of Mongols came riding on their horses down the hill and started shooting arrows at us, the break dancers were like "WTF" but the arrows bounced off their muscular bodies because of years of practice in the art of Wing Chun!

This one break-dancing dude started tap dancing around the Mongols and then did a back kick right into all of the Mongols face (yea a big pelican swooped him up and he stuck his leg out and started kicking every Mongol in the face)

The Mongols were clearly outmatched so they ran like pussies to the mountains. The dog stopped break-dancing and went to 7-11 to buy a slurpee, but the slurpee machine was in the process of being stolen by the Mongols so the dog was pissed off and 'squeezed one off' at the door.