Yea something really sad happened over the last few days...

I was walking to the station so I can take transit home from school, and the train stopped when I was across the street.

I was like, "oh shit we can still make it!" But my buddy was like, "fuck you, you can make if you jump over the railing onto it!!"

So then this guy on a mountain bike heard us, and he was like, "Yea man!! Fo sho yo!!"
and he pedalled hard and jumped over the railing onto the train.

But since the train ran on electric lines above it, the guy landed on them and got electrocuted.

We were all like "OMG!!!" and then we saw him move, and he was like, "Yea folks! I'm fine as salt!"

Then the train started moving and then this giant fly exploded out of the ground and spit on the guy. He was screaming in agony and did a riverdance, but soon he was a pile of goo, of which the fly sucked him up and let out a big belch.

The fly decided to go on a rampage, but all of a sudden, the Men in Black show up with huge silver toy guns and start blasting the fly's propellers and hairy black appendages. After all its legs have been blown off the fly was just a big blob lying in the centre of the road.

It caused a 10,000 car pile up cause people suck at driving. While people were arguing about insurance and all that jazz, a huge slab of butter-cheese came down from space and melted in the sky because of the extreme temperatures. So now its raining hot butter-cheese on people, and there was a great fire in Calgary.

It didn't last long because someone was on the ball and had pokemon with him, so he got Blastoise to put out the huge fire. Then everyone was happy and we celebrated by singing Age of Aquarius.