Hahahahahahahaha!
I wish I could paste this MANICAL LAUGHTER inside of this page!
I wish every single ONE of you can hear my screams between sob-ridden giggles and these destructive thoughts.
In all honesty, I give up.
I tried and tried, I promised myself i'd stop- but I kept going. Because I fell in love.
That's right, again. I fell in love. I'm in love with my sister- I love her dearly.
I would take as many rounds as my body could take for her.
I would take as many stabs as my body would before it would break for her.
Its a very brotherly, sisterly love- and it can't and I don't want it to go beyond that.
But I can say very confidently- like everybody does nowadays, that I love her.

I see a lot of I's above there. Does that make me selfish?
I hope not!
When I lay awake at night,
When I twitch in fright
When I laugh like a maniac like this, with bitter sweet delight
When I drink the nights away...


So I relax, I calm down, I look back at the situation.
So I chill, I take the pill, I look over my shoulder.
So I contemplate, I take a little drink, I revise the events at hand.
So I just sit there, and the metaphor's, like some ancient dust, are blown away.
There it is!

THERE
IT
IS!

Hahahahahaha! This entire time, through all of it- there IT IS!

The oldest saying, when it comes to a friend watching another friend. Ancient, simple, four words. I should use these more often.
I'll stop helping, intruding, being a stress.

I'll stop depressing her. All I can do now is look back and say


"I told you so."