One of my LiveJournal Entries from awhile back.

[G®èñådè]

[10 Jul 2005|02:00am]
God damn it.
What am I supposed to do?
I want everything to be back to the way it was, happy.
Now it's all a mess, I don't know where to go...
Do I stay her friend, and be the best best friend that I can be?
Because she deserves that.
Or should I tell her again and again that I have a true passion for her.
Love damn it, fucking love. I love her.
She also deserves me, not him,no more like he doesn't deserve her, he doesn't love her back, not as much as I do.
Is that even possible? I'm lost. Tragically lost.Do I even deserve her?
Probably not. No one does. I wish I could just get over it, damn, it was nothing big, jesus christ. Or was it? Certainly feels like it, it shouldn't, or should it?
But she loves him, and I can't change that, I feel so incredibly selfish for
wanting anything but for her to be happy with the one she wants to be happy with. But it kills me. It really does.
If time heals I wish it would a fuck lot faster.


Here's a nice ...whatever it is.





As I lie awake, lost in my thoughts
I lable myself.
I can't get pass this wall of shame
The choices I made and I wallow in pity.
Should I rest these heavy eyes?
Or should I stay awake burning in the search for the golden road the happiness?
I'm not ready for truth, it will make my heart, as hard as it is, shatter to peices.
Love, the word? Is more than a word.
It's what everyone stives for, their goal.
But really you're setting yourself up for failure, to fall off that cliff.With nothing but the barron earth below, scorched with hatred and love..what is love?

[ilovecoheed]

wow i kinda feel like that about this one girl named laura.

i love her and i don't think anyone could love her as much as i do.

she has a boyfriend (she's prolly gunna break up with) i think she deserves better than him because he's an asshole, i don't necessarily think that i deserve her because she's so awesome, but i hope it works out.

plus she like me *SCORE!*


it's not that i think she doesn't like me, i just don't think i fully deserve her.


(yeah but we both might be going to get our nipples pierced somtime soon lol awesomeness&#33

[G®èñådè]

Haha.
Yeah, women are certainly the devil.
and the girl im talking about here is the one im currently dating again.
I've never found anyone better. I don't think it's possible.