Originally Posted by Active.
ANNN! http://www.gfxvoid.com/forums/showthread.php?t=50891
On a serious note, he asked what was wrong with it. You merely confirmed that you disliked it. :P
To the OP, I do agree with Active about the typo though. Your choice of font face is a little iffy in comparison to the piece. You chose one font for the first line, and another for the 2nd line. Where I see you tried to portray a certain style with the text, I think you may have tried a bit too hard. Expressing a feeling or emotion isn't always going to need literal interpretation, especially with fonts. I second that when I say you also shouldn't let go of legibility for the sake of getting your point across.
Typo isn't always about how it looks, but where it is, and how it's presented. You could have easily used a monotype script font, and achieved the same amount of expressiveness. I think the main thing you need to work on in terms of typo (typography, not a spelling error) is your execution. Look at other effective examples of typo. Things like posters (real ones), movie posters, advertisements, even newspapers are all great sources of inspirational typography. Use that to your advantage, and that will drastically improve your execution.
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