not really i see what you're trying to do with this tag here but i bet you didn't notice the lighting on the actual focal. you see how the lighting is actually coming from the bottom left corner and the shadow is on the right? throw a lighting source on top of the focal that's coming from the bottom left corner. little things like this would make the flow better. i don't even think the c4d effects in the right bg is necessary but if you decide to keep it then throw some of that on the left side to balance it out. this should enhance it and oh yeah, crop it a bit. trust me.