the whole point of taking away the bang is to leave it at a cliff hanger ^.^

i think for the most of it, just add a little more insight to his emotions and the time frame doesnt have to be so fast, you can slow down and speed up certain parts by adding details. for instance

I Quickly Turned The Corner, "Freeze Put Your Hands Up!" A Voice From Behind Me Shouted. I Turned around with my revolver in the air.... It was a Girl. A Young Police Officer... Couldn't Have been any older then i was.... My Gun Pointed At Her.... Hers Back At Me......
cont'd from above...
her blue eyes followed me and her piercing shouts filled my ears
"Drop the gun!"
the barrel of her handgun glinted in the light, and the red and blue lights flashed violently behind her.
"Sir! Drop the gun or I will be forced to fire!"
instincts caught me, anger washed over me and memories flooded back. my gun was raised by an arm, my own arm. the barrel was aimed straight to her head, and i heard a chorus of clicks as the officers at the scene prepared to end it - as they prepared to end me....

it takes nine months to be created, and just one second to die.

end

lol <3

i still love it x)