not bad at all for a first try,
the top one does look like the render wasnt renderd all that well, with the white lines surrounding it.
and the render actually goes over your border on the sides, where as it goes under at the top/bottom parts, so that looks a bit odd.

The bottom one looks alot better, its alot more smooth and clean.

all in all defintly not bad for a first try, just read some more tuts and keep it up