The render looks choppy.

The dupe of his face isn't needed.

There are lots of over contrasted area's that you need to tone down.
Colors are really wild. You got white, black, blue, red, orange.

White and black aren't colors, but you know what I mean.

It's a complex style, but no affence, it doesn't really work. Try to stick to more simple things.

Keep at it, ^u^.