I would have to agree about hte render, its lq makes for a wrong set up here, might have been able to pull it off a little more if the images was of better quality.

You did good making the lines an stuff. Done with pen tool ? I would suggest here getting soem flow into your tag as well to give it more pow, if you have a hard time coming up with flow for your render just use a really easy trick, rotate it slightly to the left or right.

In this case your flow should be from bottom left to top right, her arm is giving you this passage ot play with

kiu man, happy to see some play with ideas ^^