With some changes, the tag could be a lot better. Let me illustrate a few quick points for you. If you want, you can also send me the .psd file and I would be happy to point you in the right direction.

The Render:
Okay, In this tag the render is really disproportional. It looks like you stretched the width of the body and shrunk the height. I know sometimes it can be tempting to play with render's proportions but it hardly ever works unless done right. Try to keep the populations the same next time, even if it means you have to have a part of the render not showing. To avoid parts of the render showing, you could also create a vertical tag instead of a horizontal, that way you could keep the render the correct porportions.

The effects:
I am not sure if it just me, but the effects seem really off. They just kind of seem to not fit the render at all.

The Text:
first off I am not a huge fan of the placement. I feel text would be much better if it was in the bottom right side over the patch of darker effects.

Shadow:
Just remove the shadow, it makes it seem low quality.

Overall it is not a bad attempt but , with some fine tuning, your tag could be worlds better.