Still seems a bit beginner imo
I would lose the text for a start and also try working on a different canvas size (try 400x200) these are usually the most common mistakes, try to just simple build up the sig and work around the render leaving things like blurring/sharpen/photo filters to the last bit once you've built up your foundations.

Also try not to use those brushes, find a decent C4D pack, don't get me wrong they're nice brushes - but they don't do much for the sig in terms of depth - I think I've also used them before in my hay day =p.

Finally, I would also recommend a different render, that one is fine but the colours are a bit bland and difficult to work with, try finding the Deus Ex render from the poster above^.