Why hello there good sir and welcome to our humble abode.
I shall make this brief as I am fully-aware the chances of you returning after this post, like all other new members is rather slim.

We are a collective of rapists, designers, artists and generally people that are on their period far too often. We wish you a very warm welcome to our little clan but we must ask that you participate in a ritual initiation ceremony. It has been this way since our forefathers founded this Void and we have no intention of removing it from our procedure.

The ritual involves dangling your hairy ballsack over a pit of hungry sharks while it is caked in fish paste, if you can survive such a task you may reap the benefits that this forum provides, such as free snorkelling sessions or the annual favourite: Nicking the mods towel while he/she showers.

Once again, welcome.
Yes I'm slightly drunk, but I'm British so it sounds even more posh than normal.