A Flirt (2 of 2)

[Takken]

Part 2 of A Flirt. This time I went for a smooth, flowing approach.

Here lies a concept
Not too hard to grasp
Ready are you set?
Now you can relax

A thorn in several petals
And soothing as the sea
With form worth rich metals
And a face filled with glee

My sights are set on something
Whether below or above
My heart begins to sing
As I dance in love

The feeling spreads throughout
As your lips touch mine
Uttering I love you
And that you are fine

Looking straight at me
Observing all the motions
A naked soul you see
Yet you play with my emotions

I know what your thinking
Still I prostrate myself
I'll ignore my being sinking
Despite knowing how you felt

Ending seems abrupt to me but it was more so practice if anything. Give me your thoughts.

[cC.DOMINO™]

Part 2 of A Flirt. This time I went for a smooth, flowing approach.

Here lies a concept
Not too hard to grasp
Ready are you set?
Now you can relax

A thorn in several petals
And soothing as the sea
With form worth rich metals
And a face filled with glee

My sights are set on something
Whether below or above
My heart begins to sing
As I dance in love

The feeling spreads throughout
As your lips touch mine
Uttering I love you
And that you are fine

Looking straight at me
Observing all the motions
A naked soul you see
Yet you play with my emotions

I know what your thinking
Still I prostrate myself
I'll ignore my being sinking
Despite knowing how you felt

Ending seems abrupt to me but it was more so practice if anything. Give me your thoughts.

the bolded lines ^^ are the only ones i don't think flow well. myself and felt dont really sound alike. the rest of it flows good and makes sense. kiu takken or LWD. good job on practicing I have been to, at work I just sit there and think of shit to write when I get home. lol

[Takken]

Same here mate. The result of a lack of words.

I'll keep trying. Can't wait to see what others will come up with